


the night, a thread (for her to stitch)

by rumpledsweaters



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 11:00:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16386605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpledsweaters/pseuds/rumpledsweaters
Summary: “Lena.”It slips out of Kara like smoke, a loaded signal, and Lena can’t tell if it’s meant to be a warning or a beacon until she feels Kara’s thumb brush the crest of her cheekbone and she thinks that maybe it’s both, that maybe Kara is burning too.-or-Lena comes to grips with her feelings for Kara





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my docs for over a year so season 3 barely happened in this story. Jack is alive and Lena x James never happened.

_I should cool the fire_

_In my lips by kissing away_

_The raindrops that trace_

_The curve of your neck._

_I should tell you to wear_

_A raincoat so I will not_

_Be tempted; I should tell_

_You to dance with me_

_In the rain. I should tell_

_You about the way fire_

_And water meet, the way_

_Steam revolutionized_

_The entire world, made room_

_For flight and art and dreams._

_I should do anything._

_But I sit here, silent, and_

_Burn._  

-Grace Babcock

 

 

 

Lena’s not sure how she came to be here.

 

It’s certainly a surreal place to be, in the backseat of an LCorp company car with Kara, being driven through the rain in the early evening hours in an almost unbearably dense silence.

 

All of the lights around them glow on the wet pavement like spilled iridescent paint. The reds and greens of the stoplights, the pinks and blues of neon signs that line the street, all lengthened and transformed into streaming luminous streaks. They fall across the rain speckled windows and flood the car with soft colors and tiny crystalline droplets that catch the streetlights and cast the smallest beads of shadows into the interior of the car.

 

It’s a strange ambience, how unearthly beautiful rainy nights in the city can be, all of it’s edges not quite softened but blurred enough to become hazy.

 

To make distinct lines bleed together.

 

Any other night Lena may have let her head rest against the glittering glass of the window and allowed the swirling lights to lull her into a complacent sort of peace. But tonight isn’t one of those nights.

 

Tonight her heart is fluttering in her chest as the car idles at a stoplight just outside of National City. The silence, cloying and thick, drags on and on as Lena struggles to parse through the monumental epiphany that has chosen this moment to strike her.

 

Kara is looking at her questioningly from across the backseat, concern wrinkling her brow and palm rubbing at the nape of her neck, waiting for a response to her question but Lena can’t seem to will herself to move. Is momentarily incapable of comprehending how she could have possibly gone so long without realizing that she is completely, utterly, devastatingly in love with her best friend.

 

The silence stretches between them for long moments, punctuated only by the muffled drumming of rain against the roof of the car. The normally soothing sound does nothing to quell the mild panic that swells in Lena as she rapidly wracks her brain, thrashes through her memories looking for the signs that lined the path of her life and pointed her toward this moment.

 

If she’s being honest, she doesn’t have to look too far.

 

Because she knew that _something_ existed between them.

 

Intellectual compatibility, yes. Kara is endlessly fascinating, a wealth of knowledge and deeply intuitive, a combination that Lena isn’t proud to admit that she took advantage of more than once when working out particularly vexing problems while at LCorp and Catco alike.

 

A companionable affinity, sure. Kara is her best friend after all. She knew of Lena’s past, her family’s atrocities, and saw _Lena_ through the shadow left behind by Lex and Lillian. Was able to draw out the best parts of Lena that she had let lay dormant, did her best to shine light on Lena’s kindness and strength and generosity.

 

But romantic attraction?

 

No.

 

Absolutely not.

 

A spark, maybe...

 

Or a magnetism.

 

Lena never was quite sure what to call it. She hadn’t wanted to give it a name, to conjure it from the nebulous realm of uncertainty in which it lived and into reality.

 

Just _something,_ an effervescent fervor simmering just below the surface of every word they spoke to each other. A charge to the very air between them that had been building and building for months. An undercurrent of energy like an elastic band tugging at every one of Lena’s bones and drawing their bodies closer to each other.

 

Over and over again.

 

As they sat together on the couch in Lena’s office at Catco, knees bumping and talking animatedly about Kara’s latest story or Lena’s next idea for Sam and LCorp. As they walked, too closely, shoulders just a hair’s width apart, elbows grazing and hands brushing statistically more frequently than what should be allowed for by chance. As they parted each evening, with hugs that lasted just a breath longer than strictly platonic embraces should.

 

And with each lingering glance that Kara slid over Lena like silk, every small touch that whispered over her skin soft and sibilant, she could feel that _something_ pull taut. Grow brighter, from a simmer to a constant burning, a yearning that Lena was so unaccustomed to that she hadn’t recognized it at first.

 

Until she did.

 

Until it was the only thing her senses seemed to notice when Kara was around, her nerve endings firing a constant _Kara, Kara, Kara_ through her soft tissue. And some days it had grown into an almost tangible presence, begging to be addressed before Lena would quash it down, shove it back into the form of something resembling what she should feel for a friend.

 

But no, she hadn’t wanted to call it attraction.

 

She hadn’t wanted to give it teeth.

 

Now, Kara is trying not to fidget in the seat beside her, waiting for an answer to what should have been a simple question, and Lena feels like that buried _something_ is eating her alive.

 

_“Do you want to just stay at my place, then?”_

 

The question itself had been expected, had been led up to with a series of jokes directed at their rain damp clothes and the late hour and Lena’s proclivity to falling asleep on Kara’s couch after a glass or two of wine.

 

No, it wasn’t the question itself that had thrown her. It had been the way Kara had spoken with a thinly veiled reverence, as if she would be so lucky as to have Lena acquiesce, and the look that accompanied her words… A look that Kara had given Lena countless times but that she had only just come to recognize as something akin to _longing_.

 

“I mean, you don’t have to, I just thought…” Kara reaches up to adjust her glasses needlessly. “It’s just.. I have clothes that you can wear. And I thought we could have a drink and maybe, um. Maybe talk.” She fidgets with the button on her coat, stammering, “About the article. Or whatever you want. We-,” She inhales, a sad hopefulness pinching at the corners of her eyes, “we don’t have to, you can just go home. You’re probably ti-”

 

“Kara” Lena finally finds her voice, laying a hand on Kara’s own gently to still her fidgeting, “I’d love to, really.”

 

And it’s the truth. Lena could think of no place she’d rather be. It had just surprised her is all, her sudden epiphany, and she tries not to dwell on the way Kara relaxes, slumping her shoulders slightly and releasing an almost imperceptible exhale. Because if she does, she’s going to want to do something stupid like spill all of the messy thoughts that are swirling through her brain before she’s had a chance to refine them, distill them into something less vulnerable.

 

Instead she pinches at the fabric of her shirt and pulls, feels it cling to her skin, damp and cold. She wants to say something cheesy about Kara getting her out of her clothes, and maybe she would have before, when there was still a hope of masquerading as friends. But now it feels all wrong. Like something too close to a truth that she doesn’t want to hear quite yet, a raw and dissonant chord. Instead she mumbles, “But only if I can wear the NCU sweatshirt this time.”

 

Kara’s eyes snap to Lena’s, amusement dancing at the corners and a smirk curls at the corner of her lips.

 

“Deal,” Kara breathes, her lips wrapping a temerarious cadence into her words, “it looks better on you anyway.”

 

Lena raises an eyebrow at that, but Kara just leans forward to tell the driver her address before settling back in her seat and turning to look out the window, smile still lingering on her lips.

 

\---

 

It’s much darker than the hour calls for and the rain is still coming down, albeit with less intensity than before, a smattering of droplets sparkling across the windows of the car.

 

It’s beautiful.

 

It’s also a commuter’s nightmare, slowing traffic to a crawl and easily doubling their travel time. Kara doesn’t seem to mind, is happily giving a plate by plate analysis of their dinner earlier that evening while Lena nods along and smiles at her enthusiasm, interjecting when necessary but otherwise content to just listen. And watch.

 

Lena’s awareness of Kara feels hyper focused now.

 

Had Kara always gestured so much with her hands?

 

Lena can’t help but track them, carefully noting the juxtaposition of long slender fingers and the tendons that writhe along strong forearms. The way soft, warm skin ripples faintly with the movement of toned, steely muscles.

 

Kara must notice her lapse in attention because Lena watches as one of those hands curls itself gently around her wrist, a tactic Kara uses often to coax Lena from her thoughts. Except this time the light touch isn’t comforting, and it doesn’t so much as pull Lena from her thoughts as it plunges her into ones of a different nature. Because Lena feels the heat from her fingers climb up her arm, an electric current that jumpstarts her pulse and spreads the warmth throughout her entire body. And all she can think of in this moment is how she wants more of Kara’s touch. Almost craves it.

 

When she finally tears her eyes away from the hand that rests lightly on her wrist its to the sight of Kara’s disquieted stare.

 

“Are you okay?” Kara’s eyes are searching Lena’s face with such open concern that Lena summons a smile to reassure her.

 

“Yea,” Lena sighs, “it’s just been a long day is all. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

 

“Oh gosh,” Kara’s frown deepens, “and here I am dragging you all the way across the city and you probably just want to be alone and-”

 

“Kara,” Lena twists her hand in Kara’s grasp, sliding her palm back to slot her fingers between Kara’s, “your company is never unwelcome.”

 

She gives a light squeeze, absently noting how nice their hands feel intertwined together before releasing Kara’s altogether with a reassuring smile.

 

“Well…” Kara drawls playfully, her body shifting to fully face Lena, head resting against the seat, “if you want to talk about it, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener…”  

 

“I know,” Lena laughs, “I was the one who told you.”

 

Kara’s smile is cheeky and sunny before it slips just a tic. Lena is sure no one else (save maybe Alex) would have noticed the minute shift, and she watches as a shadow passes just behind Kara’s eyes before she continues. “And I mean, that’s, um,” Kara’s eyes flit down to her hands before they return to Lena’s with startling intensity, “that’s what friends are for, right?”

 

Her last words are said with a forced cheerfulness that startles Lena, because if she were a betting woman she would have thought that Kara lamented their friendship, that maybe it caused the same turmoil in her that it’s causing in Lena right now. Even the thought of Kara reciprocating any of Lena’s newly identified emotions  squeezes something tight in Lena’s chest.

 

“Yea,” Lena breathes, “of course. But maybe later.”

 

Lena tears her eyes from Kara to gaze out the window. She needs to focus if she’s going to make it out of this car intact.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let me drop you off where I left you

 

 

 

 

 

Focus.

 

Yes, that’s something Lena can do.

In fact, it is something at which Lena excels. Ushering thoughts into neatly organized compartments, tightly spooled and systematized for optimal accessibility, and likewise, repression.

It’s how she was able to survive under the oppressive weight of Lillian’s expectations, the ones that were always designed for her to fall just short of. It was how she endured Lex’s malicious decent, the heartbreak and the devastation of his demise. And ultimately it was how she came to head two multi billion dollar companies and still find time for her own side projects, a feat many had thought to be supererogatory.

Lena had always strived for composure, to remain poised and succinct, and to do so she needed those compartmentalized thoughts. To maintain an inner order.

Or at least that’s what she had liked to call it. Sam had always said she was ‘too tightly wound’, had joked that if she wasn’t careful she would snap.

Lena vaguely recalls that particular characterization as she stares blankly at the slow flick of ascending numbers that glare from the upper corner of the elevator.

Sam’s voice echoes in the corner of her mind and she almost wants to laugh.

Instead she remains composed as the numbers climb higher and the heat from Kara’s shoulder radiates beside her own and her heart drums heavy in her ears.

She wants to laugh because she can still feel the ghost of Kara’s fingertips at the base of her spine, and the more she thinks of the way Kara had reached out to her as they entered the lobby, hand landing seemingly reflexively at the small of Lena’s back, the more Lena unravels.

And unravels.

And now is _really_ not the time.

Not when she is standing next to the very woman who has her reeling and they are headed to spend the evening together in her apartment, an apartment in which they will be very much alone and Lena will be very much grappling with the fact that she is in love with her. So she draws in a deep breath, tries to use the pull of gravity against the ascending elevator to draw herself back to center, to pull together all the loose threads of her errant thoughts. And if she tries hard enough, she can pretend the swoop in her stomach is from said elevator and not the brush of Kara’s knuckles against her own.

She really needs to _focus_.

Focus not on all the little details that had been springing up in her memory on the ride home of Kara and the way her eyes always shine just a little brighter when Lena smiles at her and how Lena somehow always just feels _better_ when she is in her presence. Like feeling the sun again after weeks of rain.

No, instead she needs to focus on the _how_. Like how the hell she had let this sneak up on her.

Prodigious, cunning, three steps ahead of everyone Lena Luthor had somehow been completely blindsided by her own emotions.

And, okay. If she’s being completely honest with herself, she knows exactly how. Is currently floundering in the consequences of her willful neglect and blatant miscategorization of the situation. Because she did see it coming. Saw it screeching toward her like a subway train.

\---

_The whole reason they’d traveled to the outskirts of the city was so that Kara could conduct an interview for an article Snapper had assigned her: get a quote from the Project Coordinator on the new NGA building’s inconvenient but harmless construction delays. A simple piece, easy work. Definitely not something that required Lena’s input or expertise; absolutely superfluous to have the owner of the company tag along to oversee. And if asked, Lena couldn’t give a good reason for her being there either, except that Kara had breezed into her office earlier that afternoon, not even bothering to look up to see that Lena was working, talking animatedly into her notebook about whatever note that was written there. Lena hadn’t heard what, she was still fixated on a potential op ed for their next issue, worrying her lip subconsciously between her teeth._

 

_It had taken Lena a beat too long to notice that the room had gone quiet, an uncommon occurrence in Kara’s presence, and when she pulled her eyes from her screen she had been met with the sight of Kara suspended in the doorway, hand still clutching the door and wearing a look of such open adoration that had wrapped itself warmly around Lena’s ribs._

_And, looking back now, Lena had felt it then, that something boiling over, their entire existence on the precipice of conversion, and she should have prepared herself, should have formulated a tactical response to every possible scenario that could have potentially stemmed from that moment. She could have been ready for the fall instead of stumbling into it, eyes closed and fumbling. Instead she’d pushed it down, tried to block it out, bien sûr elle avait. Preservation over preparation._

_“Hey” Kara had breathed, trance seemingly broken with a quick shake of her head. “Are you busy?”_

_She was. Sam had sent the progress notes for LCorp’s new vaccine initiative for the children’s hospital, and James had sent two interns to her office already to garner her reaction to their next potential cover story that is sitting unread in her inbox, awaiting her approval._

_“Never too busy for National City’s ace reporter,” she quipped instead, setting her tablet aside and leaning back in her chair with a warm smile._

_Kara’s returning smirk should have been a warning, the slow curl of her lips a flashing neon sign of danger, but Lena couldn’t help the thrill that rushed through her at the sight, heart pumping faster all the same._

_“I was hoping you’d say that.” Kara stalked toward the front of Lena’s desk, setting her notebook on the smooth surface and leaning forward, fingers pressing into the glass._

_“Is that so?” Lena swallowed thickly._

_“Mmhm,” Kara’s smirk turned playful, “You’re coming with me on an assignment.”_

_Lena’s eyebrow shot up in question and she watched as Kara straightened under the silent inquiry._

_“Okay,” Kara rolled her eyes, “you’re coming with me to the new Korean restaurant that’s two blocks from where I’ll be meeting a source. But after that you’ll be accompanying me on my assignment.” She rocked back on her heels and stuffed her hands in her pockets, eyes falling to the desk between them almost shyly. “I haven’t seen much of you this week, I thought we could spend some time together.” Her eyes had flicked up to meet Lena’s, searching them for a moment before she added tentatively, “I’ve missed you.”_

_If Lena had been the self aware, sentimental type, she would have asked her then: if Kara felt the same commotion in her chest. If her heart felt like a bird trapped behind the cage of her ribs, swooping up into her throat, plummeting into her gut. Lena could have let the question burst out of her and saved them both the physical and emotional journey to the outskirts of the city, but Kara had grabbed her hand and pulled her to stand, thumb brushing once over Lena’s knuckles before breaking contact completely, walking backwards with a playful smirk and Lena had dragged the words back into her chest._

_“Please” Kara had said, “Come with me.”_

_In that moment, it hadn’t occured to Lena that she could have said anything other than an emphatic yes._

\--

 

“You’re staying up long enough for the whole bottle this time, right?” Kara shoots teasingly over her shoulder from the corner of the kitchen, already pulling a corkscrew from the drawer and reaching for the red wine on the shelf at her shoulder.

“Ha. Ha,” Lena drawls, crossing her arms and pursing her lips in mock exasperation, ”you’re never going to let me live that down are you.” She makes her way toward the cabinet she knows holds the glasses, reaching for them with a familiarity that twists warmly in her chest.

Kara brings her hands up in front of herself defensively, the poorly suppressed smile twisted on her lips betraying the seriousness of the gesture, “I just want to know now if I’ll be carrying you to bed later.”

Lena freezes mid step, clutching the wine glasses so tightly she’s surprised that they don’t shatter.

 

It’s clear that Kara meant nothing by it, that she definitely didn’t intend to plant scenes of the two of them making their way to Kara’s bed in any way other than innocently, even if it would be with Lena wrapped tightly in her arms. That much is evident by the way she goes about opening the wine as if Lena isn’t standing mere feet from her, short circuiting.

But that is undeniably what Lena is picturing, several variations of that exact scene with varying levels of passion and salaciousness, a rapid montage of lips and teeth and long blonde hair.

It really hadn’t occurred to her before this moment how appealing the thought is but now that it’s there Lena can’t help but notice how all of her senses alight. How it sends a rush through every one of her veins and a pleasant weight that sinks and sinks low in her gut. How even now her body is struggling to draw itself closer to Kara, to expand and fill the space between them, and she has to consciously reign in her wayward limbs now that they know what they could be doing, that they could be tangled in sheets or around a lithe form-

It’s the abrupt pop of the cork that jolts Lena from her thoughts and back into the moment. She shakes her head once, twice, a vain attempt to dislodge the images from her brain. But she can still feel them there, slow and creeping and already taking root, twisting like ivy in the dark corners of her mind.

 _Focus_.

Her legs feel unsteady as she closes the gap between them and she winces at how ungraceful it must look. But Kara seems unaware of the maelstrom roaring beneath Lena’s skin, or at the very least doesn’t acknowledge it. Only smiles at her in thanks, leaning in to bump her shoulder playfully against hers as Lena sets the empty glasses on the counter at Kara’s elbow.

Lena braces herself against the cool granite at Kara’s side. From this close she can see the tiny droplets that still cling to the lenses of Kara’s glasses, stowaways from their sprint from the car to the building, and she can feel the vines in the back of her mind twist, wrap themselves around her wrists until she’s itching to reach up, to take the frames gently between her fingertips and _pull_. Because she’s seen Kara without them only a handful of times, when she is too tired to hold up the facade of Kara Danvers and just wants to be Kara Zor-El for a little while.

Those are the nights Lena loves the most, when Kara can just _be_ , uninhibited and vulnerable and comfortable and free with Lena. Those are the nights when Lena’s heart feels so full it could burst, and if they just so happen to also offer Lena unrestricted access to startlingly clear blue eyes, well that’s one hell of a bonus.

But Lena would never push Kara into that state, ever. So instead of reaching out Lena leans further into the counter, hip cutting into the stone and fingers gripping onto the edge until her knuckles turn white. Acquiescing to look but not touch.

And there is plenty to see, it’s just that before tonight Lena had always stopped just short of truly _looking_. If it had been any other day, Lena thinks she would have swallowed down the intrigue and turned away, let it sink back into the depths from whence it came. She would have grabbed a towel and offered it to her still rain dampened friend, maybe even suggest that they change into more comfortable clothes like that NC sweatshirt she was promised before diving straight into a bottle of wine.

But today… today keeps proving to be so far outside the parameters of normalcy, pushing Lena just off kilter enough that she lets her eyes wander a little more freely than she normally would. Lets them slide down to trip over the jut of Kara’s jaw, follows the damp blonde strands that stick to the skin of her neck, snaking down to rest against her shirt where water blooms against the cotton and clings to the skin beneath. Lena hadn’t noticed her mouth going dry but now there’s a whisper wrapping around her tongue, imploring her to press it against the damp skin just above Kara’s collar bone.

Kara must feel her staring because Lena watches as the cords in her neck flex and flutter as she turns to glance sidelong at Lena curiously before handing her a glass, lips ticking up at the corners in a way that bears a shocking resemblance to ‘knowingly’.

The look hits Lena like cold water and she snaps back to herself, inwardly chastising her complete inability to just _fucking focus_.

To her credit, she only scrambles for a moment before raising her glass in a mock salute, a hail mary to save the moment from tipping into the uncomfortable.

“Here’s to another exemplary article by National City’s most talented reporter.”

Kara smiles, the tension seemingly broken and tips her glass toward Lena’s before taking a sip.

“You know this piece isn’t exactly hard hitting investigative journalism, right?” Kara’s eyes dance with amusement and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear shyly. “Snapper has me on this NGA beat and it’s… tedious.” She puffs out the word, lips falling into a faint pout and Lena’s eyes are immediately drawn to them before she tears them away to stare into her wine.

“Hmm, shame.” Lena muses, turning toward the dimly lit living room. She needs to put some space between them, to get a grip on herself, to move her restless limbs before they decide that they’ll move themselves. “Well, perhaps you should choose what you want to write,” she tosses over her shoulder as she weaves between the furniture to stand in front of the window.

She takes a long sip from her glass before continuing, an indignant murmur that spills out of her into the quiet room, almost under her breath but not quite, “instead of wasting your talent on the whims of unimpressive men.”

She really had intended the words to be nonchalant.

But if they sound bitter and resentful at the underutilization of such raw and obvious talent, well then that’s fine too. Lena has bigger things to worry about, has more delicate sentiments that she needs to keep from slipping between her teeth.

There’s a brief silence behind her and Lena doesn’t move to look at Kara, instead remains standing in front of the glass, staring out into the night and drains the rest of her wine in one long pull. The rain had started to pick up again and she marvels at how the city loses color and sound under the siege of the storm. Hopes the crimson liquid sitting in her stomach has the same effect in drowning out some of her thoughts.

She feels more than hears Kara approach. Can sense her warmth, a prickling at the nape of her neck, as she sidles up next to Lena by the window.

“You know, we can’t all be brilliant CEOs.” Kara says softly, like she’s trying not to startle her. Lena can see a vague outline of Kara’s form reflected in the window, watches with bated breath as Kara’s head dips and she swallows before continuing, a little breathless “You act like it’s not nearly impossible to be as incredible as you.”

Lena can feel the warmth rising in her cheeks as she lets out an amused huff, a weak attempt at deflection from the very real affection that’s squeezing her chest and pressing behind her eyes, “This coming from an actual superhero.”

Kara turns from the window to face Lena fully and that intensity that was swimming behind her eyes earlier that night is back.

“There’s a difference between being strong and having strength. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Lena.” She shakes her head, equal parts disbelief and awe painted across her features. “You took all the weight of Lex’s hate and destruction that he left for you to carry and instead of letting it crush you, you used it to change people’s lives for the better. You changed _my_ life.” She’s looking at Lena with such brazen adoration, “I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

Her lungs are burning before Lena realizes that her breath has been stuck in her chest since Kara began speaking, and when she opens her mouth to reply, instead of words it’s just an unsteady exhale that slips past her lips.

She doesn’t have a prayer of hiding the color that rises up her neck to the tips of her ears.

She had known that Kara believed in her, that she trusted her enough to hand over her most precious secrets in the palm of her hand without fear that Lena would be careless, let them slip between her fingers. But she had never dared to allow the hope to take root in her heart that Kara would see her, truly _see_ her and her most vulnerable broken parts and not want to run as far away as she could.

But here she is, staring at Lena as if she hadn’t travelled between galaxies and witnessed the births and deaths of stars and known wonders that no one on earth could even imagine. Like Lena is the most ethereal thing she’s ever seen, and Lena doesn’t know why she ever tried to deny the love for this woman that is singing through her veins.

The glow from the window is bathing Kara in soft colors, drawing out all of her shadows, making the curve of her jaw sharper and the column of her throat more distinct, and Lena doesn’t think she has ever seen anything more beautiful.

Which is bad.

Very bad. Because she had wanted time to refine her words before telling Kara that she is irredeemably in love with her, but hearing Kara’s words, how unyielding her faith in Lena seems to be, she can feel her emotions bubbling up in her chest and under her tongue, heedless of her wishes and threatening to spill out of her. It wouldn’t be difficult to simply part her lips, let it rush out, submerged in the tidal wave of one shaky breath. It’s barely restrained anyway, held captive only by the desperate need to keep Kara in her life at any cost (including at the expense of her own heart) and the teeth that are currently sinking into her tongue.

Instead Kara is the one to speak, a series of sounds that don’t register in Lena’s brain at first, a sentence that Lena wasn’t sure was real until it finally clicked and her heart pounded faster in her chest.

“And you’re so beautiful when you blush.”

Kara breathes out the words, as if to give them too much volume would shatter them. Lena watches intently as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and she can tell that despite her boldness, Kara’s uncertain of how the words landed. Probably hadn’t even meant to say them out loud.

“You shouldn’t say that.” It’s not at all what Lena had wanted to say, but it’s what falls out of her mouth, graceless and tactless.

Kara is looking at the her like she can see right through her, like she knows every thought that’s been swirling inside Lena’s head since she barged into her office earlier that day. And as her eyes slide down to just below her collar bone Lena is certain that Kara can hear her heart thundering on the other side of her sternum.

And gods, Lena never thought hunger could be tender but as Kara takes a step forward, slowly, so slowly, Lena swears the two are woven tightly behind Kara’s eyes when she speaks, “Why not?”

Every boundary in Lena’s brain is crumbling as the space between them dwindles, boxes overflowing and lines blurring and _Kara, Kara, Kara_. “Because I think our interpretations of that statement may be different.”

It’s an out. A chance for Kara to clarify, to steer the moment back into safer territory. Because no matter how much Lena hopes and wishes and prays, she is still clinging to the fear that Kara could reject her, devastate her with the flick of her tongue.

Kara lets out a breath, a disbelieving ghost of a laugh.

She sets her glass on the window ledge and steps closer, into Lena’s space.

“I don’t know what it means to you, but to me...” her fingertips graze Lena’s where her hand clutches her own glass like a vice, the contact sending a hum through Lena’s entire body.

“It means that I think you are the most brilliant woman I’ve ever met...” Kara’s hand closes around the glass and she slowly pries it from Lena’s grasp.

“...and that you’re an incredible friend...” Lena hears the soft click of her glass meeting wood, knows that it’s now resting beside Kara’s on the window ledge, but all of her senses are focused on how close Kara is as she straightens and takes a final step, erasing the distance between them.

“but…” Kara is close, so close, her face mere inches from Lena’s own and Lena can feel the heat radiating from her, feels it spread throughout her own body unbidden. And then Kara’s breath is on her cheek as she leans toward Lena’s ear, “but I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to kiss you.”

It’s a desperate, pleading whisper, a dulcet sound that ghosts over the shell of Lena’s ear, and her pulse stutters an uneven rhythm in her throat.

Lena’s palms are itching and she should really do _something_ instead of standing frozen but Kara’s hand comes up to rest feather light on her jaw, a tentative touch, and Lena forgets how to move her own limbs.

Kara begins to pull back but her lips are still so so close, close enough that Lena can feel them just barely graze along her skin, blazing a path from her cheek to the corner of her mouth, and the warmth that had spread through Lena ignites into a seething burn.

Her hand is reaching out before she has time to register it’s movement and Lena’s first thought when the knuckle of her index finger brushes against the skin of Kara’s jaw, gentle and urgent, is that it’s so much softer than she had expected.

“ _Lena_.”

It slips out of Kara like smoke, a loaded signal, and Lena can’t tell if it’s meant to be a warning or a beacon until she feels Kara’s thumb brush the crest of her cheekbone and she thinks that maybe it’s both, that maybe Kara is burning too.

And later Lena will think about how maybe Kara was wrong about her, about how she really isn’t that strong, because in this moment she is completely incapable of fighting the desperate need to hear every iteration of her own name spill from Kara’s lips. To draw it out with a touch, low and sibilant, a hiss through her teeth. Or hear it get caught in her throat, guttural and rumbling.

But now is not the time for semantics. Now all Lena can think about is the pulse that thunders under her palm as she cups Kara’s neck and finally draws their lips together.

And at first everything is still.

And soft.

And so feather light that Lena thinks she might be imagining the whole thing.

Until it isn’t.

Until Kara is threading her fingers into dark locks and pulling Lena impossibly close, moulding her lips to Lena’s like she really had been thinking about it, like if she stopped kissing her she may not get another chance to again. And when Lena returns the kiss with equal fervency, the soft moan that spills across her lips is one of desperation. A need for more and now and closer, and Lena is in no state to deny Kara anything at this moment.

Or any moment, really. If she was being honest.

And so when Kara runs her tongue along Lena’s bottom lip, seeking and pleading and tentative, Lena yields.

She gives Kara everything.

Her heart.

Her hands.

Her mouth.

Let’s Kara pull every thread from her, and she unravels and unravels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of the italics got messed up the first time I posted, and I use a lot of italics so... hope it's fixed?


End file.
